If It’s Not Nailed Down…

Our church is having “the world’s largest garage sale” this weekend and we’ve had piles accumulating for the past month or so. I went through all the clothes I’ve had in storage for the last three years and ended up with ten bag (TEN BAGS!) of clothes and shoes to donate.

Ten bags!

A lot of it was pretty old — I’ve been more or less the same size since high school and I sometimes have a hard time letting go of things. (Just tangible things. I really don’t hold grudges. Most of the time.) Anyways, I filled up the bags about three weeks ago and since then they’ve made a nice little frame around my dad’s desk.

Wednesday he loaded everything into the refrigerator and hauled it off to the church. When I got home my mom pointed out that I should probably check that he only brought the things I’d set out for him. You see, my dad gets a little… enthusiastic… and has been known to go above and beyond whatever the situation calls for.

I clomped downstairs, did a quick inventory of my belongings, and determined he had, in fact, only taken what I’d asked him to. (Good job!) I went into the den to thank him and noticed something missing.

“Where’s the couch?” I asked.

He looked up from his game of mah jong and shrugged. “No one told me not to take it.”

I looked at him for a moment, not sure what to say, and decided that saying nothing was probably the best option. I backed slowly out of the room and into the living room, where my mom sat on the with an odd look on her face.

“What happened to the couch?” I asked.

She just shook her head, mumbled about a list neither of us recalls seeing, and sighed.

One good thing came from all this. Look what he left beneath my light switch!

About Melanie Hooyenga

Writer. Designer. Jock. Reader. Wife. Puppy-Mama. SCBWI member since 2015.

22 Comments

  1. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!

    *Gasps, clutches chest.*

    Gahhahaha…heart hurts…hahahaha…pain!!!

    *Falls down*

    Adam

    PS – Heeheehee!

  2. ab

    Hilarious! Love your little stool. No more high jump for you? 😉 We’ve been cleaning out closest the past couple weeks too. Goodwill in my friend 🙂

  3. JLC

    LOL! I can relate with your dad, Mel. I am the same way. I really hate having “stuff”. Hubs will come home at times and groan..”Uh oh, you’re purging this week aren’t you?”

    “What gave it away?”

    “That gleam in your eyes.”

    *snicker*

  4. Lisa Dovichi

    OMG Too funny. I love that your mom just sat there and mumbled.

    I’m like the Turkey. I get rid of stuff all the time much to my husband’s dismay. 😀

  5. Nadine

    My father in law is the same. He’ll take things that aren’t on the list “just because they were out.” We recently found out he threw away boxes of Matt’s stuff cause it was just sitting in the attic. So all those high school memories, etc = gone. Which is why we stored 90% of our stuff at my parents’ house.

  6. robinaltman

    Nobody told him not to take the toilets, too, yet somehow he understood that. Too funny.

    I need help to get rid of stuff. I’ll think of an obscure use for things. “What if one day I’m invited to a Japanese tea party in someone’s veranda in Louisiana? These shoes would be perfect!”

    • Robin, once again you totally made me crack up. 😛

      I save things like that too. I have this god-awful metallic shirt that my college roommate gave me. She wore it for her high school drill team and I’ve worn it a couple times for a halloween costume, but not in YEARS. I just can’t seem to get rid of it.

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