My Clumsiness Knows No Bounds

I think I’m the only person who can rip my toenail while walking across a level room with minimal obstacles. I was even wearing shoes!

Let’s back up a moment. (Careful there!)

My shoes slip a little and sometimes come off my heel when I’m walking, but this isn’t a new problem for me. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stepped completely out of my shoes. Sometimes it’s because the heels gets caught in something (I like my stilettos) but that’s not a requirement.

So the other day I’m walking to the front of the office when I stepped completely out of my shoe. Here’s where it gets weird. In that split second I managed to step right back INTO my shoe, HOWEVER, my toenail got caught on the edge of the shoe andโ€”you guessed itโ€”ripped. After shouting and shrieking and flailing about, I checked for blood (none), then continued on my way.

I’ve since clipped them, thank you very much. I also noticed I’m sadly in need of a pedicure.

So, your turn. What hooeys have you pulled lately?

About Melanie Hooyenga

Writer. Designer. Jock. Reader. Wife. Puppy-Mama. SCBWI member since 2015.


  1. I’ve not pulled any recently, but can’t resist poking that toe. Sorry. ๐Ÿ™

    *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke* *poke*

    Ah, memories of Hoo’s pus-foot.


  2. Yeah, you’re not the only one.

    I’ve broken the two smallest toes – with multiple fractures and multiple dislocations – a total of five times. From walking. Although once, it was from getting out of bed. ๐Ÿ™‚

    I sprained my wrist. By standing up. Or waving.

    I trip on hair on the floor. A single strand.

  3. I’m not sure what I’ve done. I do things to myself constantly, but somehow forget about it. Right now, I have a softball-sized, black bruise on the back of my leg. Couldn’t tell you how it got there. At all. I think I’ve traumatized my body so much it’s given up and given me selective memory.

  4. I’ve broken the same toe smashing into the same sofa leg 3 times. Now it won’t go sideways. You don’t really need your toe to move sideways, so it doesn’t matter much, except that I’m defective and my resale value has dropped.

  5. Nadine

    Ouchie!! Let’s see, what Hooey have I done recently. I touched a pan from the oven with my bare hand, even though it had just come out of the oven. So silly! I don’t know why I forgot!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *