When is Enough Enough?

I’m all for life lessons that put the smaller things in perspective and make you appreciate what you have (in spite of what you don’t) but I’ve about reached my limit.

Sure, I’ve had my share of disappointments in the past two years, but watching those close to me suffer is sometimes even harder. I don’t do well with helplessness and not being able to make someone dear to me stop hurting is sometimes more than I can bear. The only things that helps is the irony that my own past suffering puts me in a position to offer true understanding.

How do you cope when life keeps handing you lesson after lesson?

About Melanie Hooyenga

Writer. Designer. Jock. Reader. Wife. Puppy-Mama. SCBWI member since 2015.


  1. Virginia

    I just do my best to keep moving forward and not backward. And I have gorgeous friends who give me lots of love and moral support. I focus on the blessings.

    As to coping with the pain of others? All you can do is love them, try not to pass judgment on their choices, and then love them even harder, even if you are uncomfortable letting them know outright how much you care. That’s a cool thing about love, you know. You can love as many people as you want as much as you want. Granted, it does open you up for sadness, but that’s why we appreciate the love so much, isn’t it?

  2. I obsess, then try to ignore, then replace with happy thoughts and Tim Minchin videos (*swoon*). Repeat the last two steps as necessary. 😛

    *Poke* *hug* *poke*


  3. Mary Hart

    I always remember that without the hard times, we truly don’t appreciate the good times. Sometimes I worry when life has been going to smoothly I know that life is getting ready to pitch me a curve ball. Also, I always try to find the silver lining within the hard times. There always is one although not always easy to spot. I do have lots of empathy though for people who seem to have more then their fair share of difficult times. A FB/Zumba friend has in the past two months been in and out of the hospital with her father who has cancer, the latest admission on Christmas morning, been laid off work and her mother-in -law just passed away on New Years Day. It doesn’t seem fair. She is an amazingly strong woman and keeps her chin up! Oh yes, she went to get her passport to go home for the funeral and realized it’s expired!

  4. Laurie Comadena Edwards

    I totally understand how you feel, Mel. August of 2010 was my hell. Within a 30 day period: My grandma died, my surrogate grandma died, my pregnant best friend found out her husband was cheating on her, my sister in law found out her husband was cheating on her, we still struggled with infertility while having to go to our friend’s shotgun wedding since she got knocked up. Just too much.

    All I can say is the same as your other friends, it will get better. I know that sounds so cliche, but I promise it will.

  5. Jennifer

    During the crisis, I just plow through it with determination and push emotions down into some deeper region of my brain. Its usually after the onslaught that I let things break down. I’ll cry, fret, cope and finally add that turbulent file to my ever growing memory bank.

    I’m sorry you are going through some tough times. Sending positive vibes to you and your friend.

    • I do the same thing. I’ve been surprised to learn that I do quite well in the midst of a catastrophe — even when there’s blood involved! — but afterwards I’m a mess. Or drop to the floor.

  6. Sending hugs and kisses to your loved ones. XOXOXOX

    I tell the universe to stop the shit storm, and then I go eat cheesecake. Then I get really mad that I gained a pound and I go to the gym extra that week. Then I get shin splints. Then I keep running on them and make them worse. Then I buy new sneakers which cost a lot of money. Then I’m so pissed about spending too much money that I bump the side of my car against the garage and scrape off the paint. Then I drive around in a scraped up car because I think it’s really dumb to fix stuff on a car that still moves. Then people think I’m a moron. Then I lose patients. Then my practice goes under and we move to a van by the river.

    Then I tell the universe to stop the shit storm.

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