Bovine Love

I’ve mentioned before that my parents (and therefore, I) live along a river out in the middle of nowhere. We have neighbors and stuff, but it’s fairly rural — the other side of the river is a nature preserve and there are three houses with horses and one with cows within a mile of our house.

I’d like to talk to you about the cows.

I’m pretty sure these are beef cows because they’re black. (And now that I say this, I’ve only presumed this because I think of the black and white ones as milk cows, but that’s pretty ridiculous. Anyone want to google fu this for me?) There were three but lately I’ve only noticed two (reinforcing my theory) and it’s the way these cows interact with each other that has captured my interest.

You see, they don’t just lollygag around the pasture. Oh no. These cows hang out.

Some days they’ll be standing a couple feet apart, heads pointing at each other, CLEARLY having a deep discussion about the state of the economy in Michigan or the latest shenanigans of some Hollywood tartlet. Other days I’ve driven by and they’re lying next to each other. What really struck me was the day one was resting its head on the other’s neck.

So sweet. They’re totally in love.

Now I imagine their conversations in a completely different light. She complements his fly-swatting technique, and he thanks her by swatting the flies of her hindquarters. He tells her that her ear tag really brings out the black in her eyes, and she… well… I don’t know. What’s the appropriate response for that? She flicks a cow patty his way? Men like to eat, right? 😉

I’ve tried to get a picture but every time I’m ready they’re nowhere near the road — it’s always the days I’m running late or it’s raining that they’re flaunting their love.

Have you noticed affection in an unusual place lately? And please no stories of your pets fornicating. 🙂

About Melanie Hooyenga

Writer. Designer. Jock. Reader. Wife. Puppy-Mama. SCBWI member since 2015.

23 Comments

  1. I’m from the South where we have lots of cows. If these cows are “in love” as you say they must be gay cows, not to be mistaken with happy cows. Cows are female and bulls are male so if they’re hanging out then they’re out of the closet.

  2. ab

    Black cows are still milk cows. They just give chocolate milk, silly. 😉
    Even being a farm chick – the movie Barnyard messed me up when the boy cows had udders. O.o Umm…. no. Did they think people wouldn’t notice?
    The affection is cute – but what Robin said. Unless you check the “plumbing” – you more than likely have two chatty females – happy to not have a man to deal with 🙂

  3. I love this!

    I was reading blogs the other night, and I noticed that one of the bloggers posted up pictures of her cat snuggling with its teddy bear (which was bigger than the cat, btw). So cute. She added that the cat also had a stuffed hippo.

  4. Trish

    No no…

    this is their conversation:

    The one female cow said to the other one,

    “I was just artificially inseminated.”

    “Really?”

    “Yeah. No bull.”

    *throw the tomatoes at Aunty. She reminded me of that old joke by telling it in the cabaret last weekend.*

  5. Well, they *could* be two females and be kept for milking. But if they’re beef cattle, they’re more likely steers – males who have had their, er, equipment altered.

  6. I think my life is a series of unusual affection right now. I’ve become close to people I didn’t realize I would because of a mutual bad circumstance, so..yeah.

    I love cows. I once dated a guy whose family owned cows, and I “had” one named Norman. Norman was a beef cow, unfortunately.

    • Colby, that sounds like bad news for Norman.

      I know what you mean about who becomes important in your life. I’ve recently taken a step back to take stock of things and it’s crazy to me who moves in and who moves out of my life.

  7. Nadine

    So cute that they were resting their heads together! And that’s why I have a hard time eating beef. :/

    As for affection in unusual places, hmm… Haven’t seen much wildlife since landing in LA.

  8. Lia

    I was nice to my cousin yesterday.* We shared a cookie, but unfortunately, had no deep philosophical conversations about any of those crazy Hollywooders. *Sigh*. Maybe one day ;]

    *My cousin is 45 pounds of hyperactive little boy.

    P.S. – Very nice blog!

  9. Pingback: The Circle of Life. Or Meat. « Hoosblog

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