If I learned anything during my three years in Mexico, it’s not to get my hopes up. When I set out in my over-loaded Honda for a four-day trip across two countries, I figured I’d be back–with my husband–in eighteen months. Maybe a year.
That didn’t happen.
There were too many disappointments over those three years to fully list here–the biggest being denied a US visa for my now ex–and at some point I realized that the only way to get on with my everyday life was to stop thinking about what I had no control over. I even wrote a poem about it.
Prior to my Mexico ordeal, I got over-excited at the drop of a hat. Mention the hint of the possibility that something fun/cool/adventurous/maybe-a-little-bit-scnadelous might possibly happen and I could hardly sit still until it occured. And I told everyone.
Having to email, call, and Skype everyone I know every time I got more bad news in Mexico taught me to keep things a little closer to the vest. (Or in my case, the tank top.) It just made things easier. As much as I yearned to return to Chicago, I refused to look at job or apartment listings. I didn’t want to add to the list of possible disappointments, and it turns out that ended up serving me well.
The downside to this is now I don’t allow myself to get excited about anything until the ticket’s purchased, the offer’s in, or I know for a fact that something’s actually going my way. Until then I just push it out of my mind.
Do I miss the anticipation of the unknown? Sure. Am I being too negative? Perhaps. But I am still hopeful that better things are to come.
How do you find a balance between calmly getting on with your life and running around in tiny circles?