Like a lot of you, the shift into a new decade has me contemplating where I was ten years ago, how much I’ve both lost and accomplished, and how I can continue to better myself. I don’t like resolutions because I feel like if you’re going to make a change in your life, you shouldn’t wait for a particular date on the calendar to do it. That said, it’s hard not to take a moment to evaluate where you are and what you want for the upcoming year.

Since January 1, 2010, I have:

• left my emotionally abusive (ex)husband in Mexico and moved into my parents’ basement with an 8-month old puppy and $20 to my name
• survived a depression that almost killed me
• rebuilt my career after walking away for 3 years
• fell in love with, moved in with, then married the most wonderful man I’ve ever met
• wrote 9 novels and published 6
• landed my dream job
• marched on Washington
• lost my dad, brother, and sister to cancer in a 3-year span
• published a journal to help others
• built a network of writing friends across the country and the world
• found my support system (you know who you are)

This is not a comprehensive list. I’ve left off several things to respect others’ privacy, but know I’ve been greatly impacted by the struggles those dear to me are facing. I don’t know if I’m an empath by the technical definition, but I’ve always been a worrier (more like worse-case scenario-er), and when people I care about hurt, I also hurt.

(On the flip side, I’m ECSTATIC when good things happen for those I love. One of my favorite things to do on twitter is congratulate people when they announce good things. Especially when I don’t know them.)

Since 2015, I’ve chosen a word or phrase to guide me through the new year. Not a resolution, since we’ve already discussed how I feel about those, but something to keep me pointed towards my goals. Here’s a recap:

• 2015: break out of my circle
• 2016: push out of my circle
• 2017: persevere
• 2018: dream big
• 2019: breathe

This year I’ve chosen the phrase BE IN THE MOMENT.

This past year of breathing—of slowing down and smelling the proverbial roses—has taught me that none of this is worth it if you don’t appreciate what you already have. I’ve accomplished a lot in the past few years and I have even bigger goals for myself this year (Get an Agent! Get a Traditional Book Deal!) but if all I do is push myself, I fear I’ll wake up next January 1st wishing I’d taken a moment to enjoy where I am now.

So this year I vow to keep pushing myself, but to also be mindful of where I am in my life right now. I’d like to read more books beyond YA. I want to try to go to bed by 11pm more often. (That means lights off, phone off, eyes closed.) I want to take shorter walks with my dog since his energy is slowing waning.

And I’d like to find the joy in each day, no matter how small it may be.

What are your goals for 2020?